I AM A FAILURE, NOT YOU!

suppose to ask girl to help me post today de, but since i can use i dont trouble her! D: it has been a disater this 3days. everything just sucks when you arent there for me. ): i cried and you wont there, WHERE DID YOU GO?! ): life sucks till at this point of time, i dont know what is plan for me now. I AM STUCK, I JUST CANT SEEMS TO MOVE ON. girl kinda got irritated by me today. keep dropping things here and there! ): I DONT KNOW WHY! ever since you disappear, bad things happen! ): although i am not sure whether you remember my blog link or anything. but i seriously have many many things i want to say. but i dont know how say it now. i am sorry for troubling shirley this few days! REAL SORRY, plus i aint dumb or silly! ): bet my girl is gonna keep me under "provation"! you called but i said i didnt wanted to talk to you cause i really dont know what to say, i feel so F. UP by everything. at that moment when girl left i really tear AGAIN! D: i dont know, i dont how i survive if i didnt have girl! ): I MISS YOU, i am still the one i use to be. nothing change about me. is not that i dont want talk to you, just that i dont know what to say. ): i dont want it to happen again, I DONT WANT. no more another time , REALLY! your daddy did everything for your sake. i am not gonna scold you or blame you. butbut you must know that everyone is FREAKING worried about you, you know that!!! D: TSK, do you even know how it feels? stand in my position, you will know. 3days without a call or information. i told S that i want you back safe, no matter who you end up with. I DONT CARE, just want you back safe! THATS ALL, i dont know whats on your mind, never tell me about your troubles, do you even treat me as yours or just toying my feeling. I REALLY DONT KNOW THAT ANSWER. i only know i did all the things that i can do to be your girl! ): i dont care if you love me now or what, at least i heard your voice, and know you are safe! although you change, i still miss the old you. I CANT BE AS HAPPY AS BEFORE, and i dont want to be. people sometimes just say why am i like this and not taking care of you and everything. i dont know, is not that i dont want to take care of you. I CANT EVEN CARE FOR MYSELF, my girl have to even care for me! ): i dont want to create anymore troubles. i once said "i dont want him to go to the outside world, cause i dont want you to be hurt! its scary out there, i dont want you to get out there to be in danger! " DO YOU EVEN KNOW HOW WORRIED WAS I AT THAT POINT OF TIME!!! ): keeping all the negative things behind. i practically slept for less den 20 hours altogether for the pass 3days! thanking people whom are there to talk to me till i could sleep well! D: i really wish you would go back to school. the future of your life is in your hands, not your daddy nor mine! i would wish i could go to the extra mile to help you. but i really cant, i encourage you to go back, you dont want. everything needs education now, go back to school. I CAN HELP YOU WITH THE WORKS YOU NEED TO CATCH UP WITH THEM! D: i really miss you, )': but i lastly still want tell you that i still love you like before, ♥ ! but my life is in a mess now, i want you to be by myside now, comforting me, telling me your troubles. I WANT TO KNOW! ): I AM YOUR GIRL!!! i dont want it to be this way, hope you really understand! i dont want to tear anymore, i really gonna faint anytime soon! D: you were so cold to me, and i miss the chance of talking to you on msn to ask you to see my blog. will there be another chance of seeing you read it, i am worried that your daddy might... butbut, i dont dare call you as you may not want talk to me! HOW? i dont want leave you there like this now!!! or maybe you dont even need me to be there even if i want to! TELL ME WHAT YOU WANT?! i cant read minds? i aint God! ): sobsob! ): I LOVE YOU STILL! ♥

in all my life
you are the first to make me feel this pain
as you are special in your ways!

Labels: maybe it aint your fault